Kurisu Sakura

Tokyo to Vancouver

2011-12-01T20:23:00.000-08:00

So I've thought a lot about what direction I can take my blog in, but honestly, I'd much rather just write about what i feel like. Life has been going pretty good, and although I'm currently not in Japan, I've moved to someplace better then Newfoundland haha.

I'm currently in Vancouver, studying Asian Studies at KPU (Kwantlen Polytechnic University). Nah, its not that great of a University, but doing 2 years of a degree there and transferring to a better University is a lot better then paying 4 years tuition @ UBC.

A lot of people ask me, what can you do with a degree in Asian Studies, or what are your plans after you graduate? And honestly, I have no idea. I'm just studying Asian studies because its always been something that i've been interested in and I want to know more about asia and its languages.

In the dating area.. lets see. lol. I've been dating a taiwanese guy that's been living here the past 4 years and we've been together for almost 2 months now. It's may sound say now because it's only been 2 months, but we've been really good friends before that, and I can honestly say, I will be regretting this if it doesn't work out later on, but i can see myself being with him for a long time. I've had some pretty shitty luck dating people in the past who have either been complete assholes, have had no motivation in life, or are just plain lazy.

This time around it happened to be with my best friend. And yeah, he actually was my best friend. I don't know how i got by without him before we met. The situation was a little complicated, he wasn't single and i was, but things always have a way of working out. But that being in the past, the present is pretty good. We've both pretty much given up our old ways, we used to club so much, now we stay at home watching movies on a saturday night not even knowing that it's saturday and most people are out drinking and clubbing.

I guess when you finally find someone, these things don't become as important. You don't have the world to impress, you just have one person, and they are already yours, so why would you care about what anyone else thinks. I love him. I really do. No ones perfect, we all come with our highs and lows, our top's and bottoms ( lol), and we all come with a little baggage. No one is completely bag less anymore, everyone travels with some. But these are the things that make a relationship interesting.

While we could define a relationship as "The condition or fact of being related; connection or association."

Or love as "a tender passionate affection for someone else", can we really describe these emotions in a single sentence, or clause? No. Love is not always like the movies. Love is when two people "LOVE" each other enough to work our their problems, sometimes argue their problems, and try to accept each other for who they are.

Next up, smoking. I've been smoke free for about 9 days now. The first couples days completely sucked. I know they say you will get a max of 3 cravings? Please, i swear i had about 45 in the first couple days. The main reason I'm quitting is because my boyfriend told me if i didn't he would break up with me, and its not like he's asking me to do something impossible, its a good choice, and i should quit smoking anyways. After all if your dating a smoker then your technically dating someone that will die before you.

I've also moved from Surrey to Burnaby, but I'm still attending school in Surrey for now. So takes a long time to communicate. 2 sky trains and 2 buses, and the trains here aren't as near as efficient in tokyo. I miss tokyo a lot. I will def go back to asia after i graduate.

And having a taiwanese boyfriend made me want to study the language. It's a culture that i really haven't had that much of an interest in initially, but , dating him makes me want to know more about it. Not that I'll forget japanese.

I took a placement test and placed 3rd year japanese and will be taking my courses in Richmond, from january. Actually the richmond campus is a little closer and def a lot nicer.

So that's all I'll talk about for right now,

hope everyone's doing good :)

つまらないいいい

2011-04-13T07:21:00.000-07:00

おはよう！：）　みんな元気？
もう１ヶ月日記を書きませんでしたごめんなさい。ｗ
今カナダで大学行ってる！つまらないｗ

来週俺の日本の友達（ひとみ）はカナダに来る！
ちょお楽しみにしてる！
日本からカナダまで２３時間かかる！とおくない？笑
でも本当にうれしいよ。はじめて友達がここにくる

ひとみは｛カナダの天気は日本よりもっとさむい｝知ってるかな。。ｗ
冬ふく持って来てと言ったけど’
ひとみバーかだよｗぜったいT-SHIRTSだと来るとおもうｗ
カナダで楽しいコートは？なんだろうｗ

まわりがきれいけど
ここは田舎だよｗ
大丈夫かなｗ楽しくないとおもうけど
ひとみとどこでもーなんでも
もし一緒に　ぜったいたのしｗ

カナダの友達もつまらない。
日本にいるときいつもメール来たけどカナダにいるときみんなは”今週忙しい”
”予定あるよ”と言ってる。もういやーカナダの友達いらないかもｗ

クリスはかなだで頑張ったらー大丈夫。
日本語も頑張ろうー
話すのはちょっとわるくなかった。

じゃー
ひとみいるときまた日記を書く。
おやすみビ－チ！

Go Away (English Version)

2011-01-26T15:40:00.001-08:00

I wrote this song when I broke up with my Boyfriend...

久しぶり！

2011-01-26T15:33:00.000-08:00

久しぶりね！最近忙しかっただからブログわすれちゃったw
昨年は本当にわるかった。
仕事にあきたー彼氏とこわれた。。イロイロだね！
５月日本の大学にはいるつもり！楽しみにしてる！
がまんしてね！今年もよろしく！

Hey guys! Sorry i havent been blogging lately I've been really busy.
This past year really sucked. Im so tired of my job, i broke up with my boyfriend, many different things.
Please have a little patience and get ready for this years blog!
I'm applying for Universities here and getting ready to make big changes:)
Muah!
Kurisu

2010-07-31T11:31:00.000-07:00

I never will forget you! love u

2010-07-26T16:17:00.000-07:00

Hey Boy!
So it`s 10:15 in the night and you left this morning and i miss you so much. You came back into my life full force when we both returned from our little adventure in a differnent place, and I`m so happy that you did when you did. We had some really good times and some not so good ones, ( when i was being a bitch aboutzai) opps... but you took me in stride just as i did you. You became family someone i could talk too someone who always made me laugh and cry... someone who i could share my insecurities with and when i just really needed to bitch about Jeremy..lol.. but you always listened to me without me even having to ask for you too.

I know it`s going to be really hard without your family -me- when you get there, but i`know this time you will do so amazing! You know how it is to fail now and you know in your heart you never want to feel like that again. You may not think but your parents are proud of you but they are, and as for your sister, i know she hasnt been there and she`s been distant from you, don`t be mad at her, just think that maybe it`s just really hard on her to say goodbye again. She will come around and yes it will be to late for her to say goodbye cause your already gone, but your not gone forever :D and she will know that in time. So don`t be mad at her, I understand how she feels cause it hurts like hell knowing that i can;t see your big teased head anymore for a really long time. And i can`t go to BK like 4 times in one night cause Cutler was hungry. But i will hold you so close to my heart and just think about how much success your going to have in your life for being so brave and making such a big move, and i will laugh and cry and do both at the same time! I love you with all my heart your Family, Don`t ever lose yourself and stay exactly who you are cause no one or nothing can improve you as a person! So I will leave you with these words!

FUCK MY LIFE!

I love you babe!!
Peace and Love

Your Big Sister

Lisa
xoxoxo

ps: Don`t ever forget me.

2010-07-24T23:00:00.000-07:00

So my mother is coming here around September. 13th! I really can't wait.
It's been so long since I've seen anyone from my family.. like about 7 Months now?
I'll go back to Canada in December, but this is going to be so much fun!!

I'm currently looking for some short term furnished apartments now, And actually I found about 4 suitable places, its so much easier to find when your budget is higher! Yatta! Anyways keep u posted! Kurisu

2010-07-14T12:13:00.000-07:00

Why is it that my main motivation is Jealously?
Seriously my friend told me that a couple of days ago-
and I am always trying to compete and be better then other people
Especially when it comes to Japanese.
I don't know why.
But it makes me study more so i Guess even if its a bad motivation-
Its a motivation and it makes me do something beneficial
So I'm just going to have to accept it at this point.

Grammar Class notes- Beginners 2 finished

2010-07-11T23:09:00.000-07:00

So these are some of my notes from my class.

The sentences may not always make perfect sense, and while the sentence itself may seem a little bit strange cause I was to lazy to make a perfectly natural sentence for each- The grammar is correct.

てーForm + みます (try to do something)

or て Form + みたい (Want to try to do something)

わたしはしごとをさがしてみたい。

I want to try and find a job.

てーForm + いる／います（Continous action)

今テレビを見ている。

今テレビを見てる。

今テレビを見ています。

このぶんはおなじのいみがある。

These sentences have the same meaning.

3 imasu is most formal, then Iru, then just ru.

Potential Form + ようになりました　（Have gotten to the point)

ひらがながよめるようになりました。

Gotten to the point where I can read Hiragana.

た Form + ことがある／あります　／　ことがない／ことがありません　(Have or havent done something)

二ちょう目にいったことがある。

I have been to nichome.

韓国にいったことがない。

I have never been to Korea.

ない Form + で下さい　（Please Don't do)

ここにすわないでください

Please don't smoke here.

た Form + ほうがいいです。　(Strong suggestion)

おさけをのんだほうがいいです。

Its better to drink alcohol.

がっこうにいったほうがいいです。

You best go to school.

クラスにいかないほうがいいです。

Its better not to go to class.

Informal Form のは + verb + です　

日本語をはなすのはむずかしいです。

Speaking Japanese is difficult.

しゅくだいをしなかったのはクリスです。

The person who didnt do their homework is Chris.

Informal Form + とおもいます (I think that)

かれはここにくるとおもいます。

I think that he will come here.

あしたはしけんがあるとおもいます。

I think there is a test tommorow.

Informal form + といいました　　(He said that)

いつもかれはいそがしいといいました。

He always says that he is busy.

かれはわたしは毎日いそがしいですといいました。

He said that he is busy everyday.

Baby

2010-07-08T14:39:00.000-07:00

来年ねー彼氏はＢｒａｚｉｌで学校に行く。

でもー私は日本で止まる。

遠距離恋愛はちょっと難しいのでもう心配してる。

でもーおれの彼氏は本当にちゅうじつだ。

だいすきゆうや。

だかれー１年日本に止まる。

そのことは難しいかもしれません。

彼氏はまだｂｒａｚｉｌにいかなかった。

なんで今おれは心配してる？

わからない。

ことしー一番し合わせ！わたし。

だいすきゆうや。

Next year right, my boyfriend is going to school in Brazil.

But I will wait in Japan.

Because long distance relationships are kind of hard, I'm Worrying.

But my boyfriend is really loyal.

I love you yuuya.

So, i will wait for one year in Japan.

Doing this might be hard.

My boyfriend has not even left for Brazil yet.

Why am I worrying now?

I don't know.

This year I've been the most happy.

I love you Yuya

2010-06-22T13:03:00.001-07:00

買い物

2010-06-21T11:45:00.000-07:00

So i went for a little shopping with Laura @ Forever 21!

今日はＦｏｒｅｖｅｒ２１でかいものした！：）

新しいシャツとパンツをかいた！：）

やすかった！

シャツ：円１５００

パンツ：¥２２００

けつがある！wやった！

2010-06-20T19:29:00.001-07:00

Umm when I said Fontana was unprofessional I meant it.
But i never thought the head manager and other people from the office would be in our guesthouse digging through the Garbage and laughing and commenting about what's in it. Fuck, not only does that invade our privacy but its immature.

2010-06-20T14:06:00.000-07:00

This movie is called "Noroi" ノロイ

Its so fucking scary - i watched it with my bf last night.

Like , its kind of a blair witch thing, which makes you believe its real and then It scares the shit out of you.

And since im in Japan, where its set, it makes me more scared.

Before like I wouldnt be afraid cause it was some random farm town in America, but my neighbourhood in Asagaya looks so like some of the places its shot in!

ちょおこわかった！やだ！

New PURI!!

2010-06-20T10:42:00.001-07:00

2010-06-15T16:14:00.000-07:00

had to dye my hair black for work!

Before

After

2010-06-13T11:39:00.001-07:00

DO NOT RENT FROM FONTANA TOKYO

2010-06-09T08:22:00.001-07:00

My experience with FONTANA a rental agency in Tokyo.

This week they told me that because the common area dirties were dirty, the sink and the downstairs living room- that i should move into a private apartment because I will like it better. And that they feel I'm not the right person to live here. When every single one of the people that live here are my friends.

After I found out that they are doing construction of 2 new rooms, and that my room is in the way.. And that they are finding ways to boot me out.

Also, monthly electricity utilities for one room can exceed 15,000 yen (150 dollars) a month, when the regular is 50.
When housemates here tracked and recorded their electricty it was found to be different from what fontana was told them.

Your electricty bill from the company is not given to you, Fontana recieves it and writes the amount that you have to pay them.

This company is just completley unorganized and unprofessional that I will never deal with them again after I move out - and i urge you who are considering renting a guesthouse from them to re-consider.

Also, When a company tells you that they can't sell the guesthouse, and that there are 6 rooms left unrented and so on, it sounds unprofessional. I don't work for there company so why are they telling me this? I have no interest in the company's financial position, and I don't know why they would tell tenants their problems.

あたらしな写真！

2010-06-07T14:47:00.000-07:00

Ｉ　ｈａｖｅ　ｓｏｍｅ　ｒｅａｌｌｙ　ｂｉｇ　ｎｅｗｓ　ｔｏ　ａｎｎｏｕｎｃｅ　
ｖｉａ　ｙｏｕｔｕｂｅ　ｖｉｄｅｏ　ｉｎ　ａ　ｃｏｕｐｌｅ　ｍｉｎｓ．
Ｓｔａｙ　ｔｕｎｅｄ：）

2010-05-31T13:30:00.001-07:00

2010-05-26T15:29:00.001-07:00

A little damage makes your hair so easy to style.

2010-05-25T08:43:00.000-07:00

Wow. So encounter with rude Japanese number 2 last night.
Got on the train, and it's normal for us to press in during rush hour and some old man kept pushing me out, and the announcement came on the doors were closing- and he was like pushing me and mumbling about me calling me a baka and stupid gaijin and shit like that. Fucking god. On the way out i called him a kuso baba - which means like dirty old man.
Fuck.

Like get overyourself you dirty drunk.

2010-05-25T08:06:00.000-07:00

New hair!

Me and hite!

This was the color before!

2010-05-20T10:40:00.001-07:00

I WANT MY HAIR LONG

今日の日記

2010-05-20T04:08:00.000-07:00

Today's weather was so bad.

きょうのてんきはちょおわるい！

Actually I hate the weather so much lately.

さきんーにほんのてんきがきらい！

Everyday its really hot - and so humid!

まいにちてんきはちょおあつい！

I don't even want to go outside.

Today I didn't really do much.

きょうはあまりなにもしない。

Went to school and waited for hite - and then we went to study at Jonathans

がっこうにいってーひてをまって。それからーＪｏｎａｔｈａｎｓでにほんごをべんきょうした。

but actually we didnt study that much lol.

でもーわたしたちはあまらいべんきょうしない。

Anyways, its so digusting and humid outside.

So I'm gonna go to bed soon.

もうすぐねたい！

Oyasumi.

おやすみ。

2010-05-19T07:13:00.000-07:00

THESE HAIRSTYLES ARE MINE!

2010-05-18T23:18:00.000-07:00

Here is some very simple, yet very important advice:

Don't ever let anybody walk over you.
Don't force yourself into thinking that someone telling you negative things about you is normal.
It's not. Everyone has flaws, and nobody should demand perfection from someone.
You are who you are. Yes you can make tweaks here and there, but your not perfect.
You have to be the person who you are, and just hope that someone loves and accepts you for that.

But don't let yourself be degraded.
I'm probably a drama queen and blowing this all up, but I just can't stand being put down and lowered by someone that I love.

When you should be studying, you sing GAGA

2010-05-18T02:20:00.001-07:00

2010-05-17T14:53:00.001-07:00

2010-05-16T14:20:00.001-07:00

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　私の妹！友達と！
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　あいたい！！！！：（

昨日は妹の卒様式です。
彼女は高校をおわった。

おめでとうございますーベサ二ー。
おれはあなたを誇りに思います.

卒様式害行きたかった．
でもー日本に住んでいるからー
私はいかなかった：（

貴方は私の親友です。
ありがとう。
がんばって！！

Dusting and walking away

2010-05-14T03:28:00.000-07:00

Seriously dude?
You know what- Excuse me for not being a spoiled brat.
Excuse me for not relying completely off my parents, and then prancing around like I bought everything I'm wearing.

You are beyond spoiled.
And you own NOTHING that you've own?
Its so weird.

You boast about this and about that,
but it just came from Mommy and Daddy.
The little I do have, I've worked for myself.

So next time you degrade someone for not being "as good as you"
or for not having as much money as you so they can do whatever they want-
Just think.. Did you actually buy that? Could you actually afford your rent or your shit now?
Didn't think so.

So keep sucking off mommy and daddy and bragging about it.

I'm gonna spend my time studying and working towards getting a job.
Maybe then I'll brag about my clothes, or my belongings.

Maybe then I'll have an actually appreciation for something,
Instead of running everyone down because you just don't have enough motivation to do something on your own.

So keep on prancing around honey - Cause someday the real world will hit you and you'll fall fat on your ass. And no "D and G" is gonna break the fall.

:)
Enough said.

新しい日本語の勉強

2010-05-13T23:31:00.000-07:00

So tired!
I just got home from school.
Today in school was kinda boring, here was the new material for todays lesson.

1) ______ あとで　________.
(Past (when) (formal/informal)
Informal)
例えば: がっこうでにほんごをべんきょうしたあとでちばにいきます。
(After school, I'll go to Chiba).

2) _________ とき　_________.
( informal) (when) (formal)
例えば：おかねがないときなにもしない／しません。
(When I have no money, I don't do anything)

If its a Na adjective we have to change ひまだ(informal) to ひまな..
If its a Noun we have to use の。こどものとき。。（when i was a kid)

Izakaya/Nichome Night!

2010-05-12T11:17:00.000-07:00

Me and yuri! This girl is actually so so much fun!

ゆりがだいすき！！！！ちょおたのしい！！

Yuya and the other Mandarin house people!

Left to right: Leo, Joe, Yuuya, Yuri, and Tomoko aka Janet

Hahahha Janet was calling out the drink orders why Matteo

was reading off a sheet of paper what we were gonna eat lol

Yuuya and Deanne!

Getting our drink on! Of course my hair is a state hahaha.

たくさんビルを飲んだ！

Me and Hite at karaoke!

カラオケでひてさんとおんがくをうたう！

2010-05-12T04:14:00.000-07:00

The silence falls
this city sleeps.
I take the train, but it doesn't take you to me anymore.

Another day, another way to make me feel like I'm not alone.
I used to run to you when everything was falling apart.
But now I can't run at all.

The places where we used to go
And are but lost are oh so cold.I
I miss you.
I need you.

Sitting here.
Theres nothing here.
Where is my boy?

Is it wrong to be afraid of the future?
When you know it'll soon bring you hurt?
You loved that boy, you love that boy
You never want to see him turn his back,
Don't wanna say goodbye.

Could I be so selfish I'd try and hold him back from his dream?
When it's my dream, that brought us both together.
When he's smiling, I'm happy
When he crying, I'm dying inside.

No- Stop
Wait - It's all wrong
I gave it up, I gave my heart
So we've got to run

I promised to you.

Friends and Gossip in Mandarin House

2010-05-11T03:22:00.001-07:00

Fooling around before Nichome hahah.
I love these guys!

My language school review!

2010-05-11T02:27:00.000-07:00

So, this is a review of my current language school,
and some info to people who are looking for schools and some advice on which one to choose.

Upcoming Videos

2010-05-10T23:58:00.001-07:00

Hey guys!
So my blog is long overdue for some interesting content.
Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that I'm in the process of recording videos now.

My sisters grad is coming up and I have a video to make for her.
An a new one regarding whats happening with me and my boyfriend.
And a review of my school and apartment agency!

Yuya

2010-05-09T15:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, My boyfriend told me that he decided with his family that he would be going to brazil for a year for University.

At first I didn't know what to think. He told me when I was home in the bathtub through text message, and like, I couldn't breathe. Icouldn't think of the thought of losing him.

I couldn't hold back tears.

Later, I went to Shinjuku to talk to him.

It's so rare in life to find that person that you know you can love forever. And although we have dreams that will bring us to different places, him- brazil, and me- Japan, I know that we will stay together.

To even think that I would lose him- was a selfish thought for me to think.

He posted a MV from Otsuka Ai on his facebook.
And wrote : 悲しいよ... (/_;)
今年、一番幸せなのは　あなたのそばに居れたこと"

These lyrics from the song:

If we couldn't meet each other
I couldn't smile like I do
This year the happiest thing is being by your side.

When i heard this - I couldnt stop crying.
When i think back on the moments we had together -
Nothing has ever compared.

I have never loved someone before Yuya.
I love him with all my heart.
And I'll wait for him for a year, for years, forever.

We waited 9 months to meet each other when we first made contact. And i cherish every day that we can spend together.

When Yuya laughs- its the most beautiful thing in the world.
His smile makes me feel happy.
And its when I'm with him I feel most comfortable.
I'm proud to hold his hand when we go out.
And I'm proud to call him my boyfriend.

So with that- I wish him the best of luck in Brazil.
Its not soon - I mean we have 8 months together.

Now we know that everyday is special.
I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

Before Yuya, I thought i was always right.
I was selfish and I didn't care about anyone else. I always wanted my own way.
But he's taught me how to love, how to look at life differently, and he's always giving me hope.

Hes been there through my highs, and through my lows.

Right now, I don't want to think of saying goodbye in 8 months.
We are strong, we'll stay together, we can work it out.
I mean, I can't help being sad sometimes. I'm scared.

But at the same time I know what we are.

Hes the only boy who knows who I am.
Who I'm not.
And who I want to be.

I love you Yuya-
Always and forever
Chris

2010-05-08T01:37:00.001-07:00

Im a free bitch baby.

2010-05-06T23:04:00.000-07:00

So last night, I went to the konbini in Nichome to pick up some food before heading home from my boyfriends. It was a Thursday night so obviously it wasn't really busy.
I saw this guy I knew from last year I was in Japan, and we've seen each other since and said Hi and stuff.

This time he was with this guy, Jeremy or whoever, and I seriously hate him. He's seriously the kind of person that thinks he's all that and more, when in reality, he has nothing going for him. His face looks like a pale nerd, and his body is surely nothing to brag about. And what's with my friend from last year? You think your so cool now that you can't even say hi to me when you saw me?

Its hilarious. Your both in Nichome all the time. And no one has any respect for you.
This is why I don't make friends with people who I don't respect. I guess I made a mistake talking to you in the first place.

Anyways, I'm fine with it I just wanted to write about it to get it off my chest.
I don't ever want somebody to look at me with the same disrespect as I looked at them.
Knowing the things they do, the way they act in Nichome.

Like dude, if everyones image of you is a cheap slut - then you should probably change you ways.
If your gonna be hooking up, and being dirty - then at least be secret about it.

Anyways, brushing it off.
Its just drama.

This is the hairstyle im going for! Its gonna take forever but it looks fun. Just the coloured parts, not the black extensions. And i wont have blue and pink hahaa.

Or this one is really cool too!

Cool but hard to tease.

Me and hite! lol

Loves it!

And last but not least, this is what happens when Japanese get bored at 2am! lol

がが！

2010-04-20T01:12:00.000-07:00

Omg.
Simply the best concert I've ever seen.

ありがとうゆうや！

Long time no see!

2010-04-16T00:43:00.000-07:00

さしぶり！
ごめんね！
さいきんーおれはいそがしすぎました！

I've been pretty busy lately! and not with parties and stuff,
just job hunting, piles of homework, kanji and stuff.
The courses are getting harder and harder.

My Japanese is improving i guess but I need to work harder.

Anyways, heres a couple puri to add!

Mata!
kurisu

Good Times Good Times

2010-02-22T08:25:00.000-08:00

Me at M Club!

Friends at MCLUB!! Such a good time!

Me and the besty!

Long time no see!

2010-02-03T14:31:00.000-08:00

Hey guys! Whats up?
It's been a while since I've made a post- Sorry for that!
I thought I would be posting 24/7 in Japan, but I've been really busy with study and friends!
Japan has been so so rewarding! The more Japanese I learn, the more I appreciate being here!

The new Koda Kumi cd came out 2 days ago!
Its the 10th anniversary! So i got the Original Album +NEW album + DVD combo!
And she's having a tour throughout Japan and I have tickets to see her!
Omg so excited! I had no idea she was gonna release a new album, and when I saw them advertising it in Shibuya i had to have it! They had little booths in front of HMV and all the record stores blasting her music!
And also you get this ticket which lets u get in on a lottery to win some of her merchandise, or a poster!

Anyways, I'll write some more stuff and post pictures later!

Byee Erika!!

2010-01-26T21:06:00.000-08:00

Erika left out class for Russia today!
She was really nice, I'll miss her!!
さようなら！！！
おみやげありがとう：）

Nichome!

2010-01-23T00:51:00.000-08:00

Here's to the nights of nichome, which are evidently always fun.

Were young.. Live it up!

Something has changed within me

2010-01-22T00:13:00.000-08:00

So in these times..
I still feel alone. I still feel lonely.
I still feel without something.

When is something going to come along thats going to validate what I'm doing in life? I need someone or something to show me that what I'm doing is not all for nothing.. What I'm doing is right?

I haven't felt this way in a bit.
I need to get back to studying, get back to school.
I guess this is my way of learning that too much clubbing is not the right direction for me, and that that was never my intention when coming here.

I came here to learn Japanese.
Now lets do it.

Kazoku- Daisuki Dayo! Aishiteru yo!

2010-01-19T00:26:00.000-08:00

This ones for my family!
Thank you for allowing me to do this!
I'm working hard and I hope everything falls into place.

I have a job interview on Thursday for a part time teaching job.
I'm not sure how many hours, but its money.. And if i can pay my rent, then I have no worries about staying here in Japan.

Please let this come through, I've worked so hard!
Love,
Kurisu

Ohayou!

2010-01-17T11:10:00.000-08:00

Hey Guys, What's up?
I've taken a couple days away from studying.
I've went to Nichome with the bf! It was fun I guess..

I'm kinda in a shitty mood right now.
I don't know why, And I'm sure it'll get better soon, but everybody had their days right?
Non stop studying hasn't really been helping either.
And my credit card is totally sky high right now, but I'm pretty sure I can pay it back.

I have school tommorow morning, and I forgot to hang my laundry up to dry.
It in my room now and the heater is on blast.

I hate Japan's thin walls.
You can make your room just the right temperature, but 5 minutes after you turn the heater off, the room is cold again cause the heat has leaked out.

I did my resume up today, and I've sent it off to a couple job postings.
Right now I'm studying everyday, and I know I'll learn japanese, but If i can get a part time job now that will be great.

I really don't know what I'm doing up so late.

The view from my bfs roof!

Shinjuku!!!!!

Adjectives

2010-01-14T09:31:00.000-08:00

Hey Guys! Whats up?
Anyways, I just finished doing a couple drills with adjectives and making them negative! So i just wanted to show you how simple it is.

But remember that there are "I" and "na" verbs.
These are just using one kind because they happened to be the same group of verbs when I choose them hahaha.

Adjective Negative Form

isogashii isogashikunai
karui karukunai
yasashii yasashikunai

Sentences:

1) boku no kareshi wa yasashikunai desu.
ぼくのかれしはやさしくないです。
My boyfriend is not kind.

2) ano heya wa karukunai desu.
あのへやはかるくないです。
The room is not bright.

3) kurisu san wa isogashikunai desu.
クリスさんはいそがしくないです。
Chris is not busy.

Also, i just finished verb conjugations...

Shaberu - To chat
Since it is a Group 1 verb, remove the "ru" and put the appropriate endings.

Shabemasu Postive Polite
Shabemasen Negative Polite
Shabemashita Past Polite
Shabemasen deshita Negative Past Polite

Kaku - To write

Kakimasu
Kakimasen
Kakimashita
Kakimasen Deshita

I almost finished the book for the course.
Don't think this is all I've done.
I've made them negative past, past..
Then done the nai form, the te form.. There is a lot to do!
Anyways, I have to keep practicing them and increase my vocabulary.
Its so low its hard to do anything with!

Anyways, Oyasumi! :)

Relationships in Japan!

2010-01-14T08:49:00.003-08:00

Koe Wo Kikasete

2010-01-13T11:48:00.000-08:00

Sakki made no ame wa mou agatte.
Just now (P) rain (stopped)

Asufaluto tadayou machi no nioi
(Asphalt) (to float) (town) (scent)

Nee Sochi mo mou hareteru yo ne
(hey) (P) (clear weather) (P)

Nishi kara kaifuku suru te
(West) (from) (to recover)

Asa wa nigate na kimi dakara nee
(Morning) (dislike) (you) (so, therefore)

Mainichi chanto okirareterukai?
(Everday) (properly) (get up?)

Sonna koto imada ni shinpai shiteru yo.
(such) (thing) (still) (worry about)

I matched my translation with the ones online and it seems to be pretty much the same.
Taking japanese songs and grabbing new adjectives and nouns and verbs is a fun way to remember the new vocab!
This is what I'm doing at 4am in the morning.. WTF.
hahaha

Ja, Oyasumi

NEW VLOG

2010-01-13T10:31:00.000-08:00

Sorry the last part got cut off! My computer is so kuso right now! hahaha
And I just had the longest day of studying So I'm really tired!
Ja- Oyasumi!

School Tommorow!

2010-01-11T21:50:00.000-08:00

Hey Guys! Hope you've all been good!
Tommorow is my first day of school! I'm chotto nervous, but I'm sure everything will be fine.
I'm so so so tired, because last night I didn't really get any sleep.
But I don't want to sleep to much today.

I have so much chores to do..
Cleaning the room, and doing laundry, its getting so old.
I also have to go and get some more groceries!
I think I'll make curry rice tonight since it is so cheap!

Last night we went to Saizeyera? Or something like that for study.
Anyways, It was really good, and so so cheap!
I'm gonna head over to makku after I finish my chores to study.
I'm planning on finishing this textbook called "Hakase".

It's so strange how when I look at words now like "Kane"
Instead of pronouncing it like "cane" im pronoucing it like "kah-nay" LOL.
And like we went to mini stop and I was like lets go to "me-ne" hahaha ..
The joys of learning Japanese!

I've also got to write up a resume and sent it off for a possible job interview.
Although I think its a little bit harder since i dont finish school till 3pm.
But if i can work every day for 4 hours, then I can get like 20 hours a week or so, and make enough to pay rent and groceries, and thats all i really need to do.

I've become more aware of the scholarships here, and the oppourtunities that are provided if I study as hard as i can. So i have to take advantage of that.

Anyways, I'm wasting so much time!
I gotta go!
Mata ne!
Kurisu

Isn't shinjuku so pretty at night?

Here as some pictures we took last night:

Yuya ga suki!! <3

Bonfire!!!!!!!! + Pictures~~~

2010-01-11T08:05:00.000-08:00

So tonight was an awesome time! I left my apartment for Higashikoganei around 10, and after a little confusion with the trains, I got there a little bit after 11. I met daphne at the station, it was so nice to see her! Congrats on your scholarship girl! We then met up with her other friends, and made our way to the park. It was sooooo cold! But it was so much fun! We looked around for twigs, and eventually got a small fire going. The smell of the smoke reminded me and Daphne of home so much. It felt like I was out camping with the parents again.

Daphne was showing how canadians started fires haha. And our japanese friends brought crackers for smores hahah, not like gramh crackers, but just normal ones it was so funny! hahah

And actually, we had the first snowfall of the winter last night! It was so cold, I'm pretty sure it was the coldest I've been in a long long time.. years! hahaha

So anyways, we made our way back, and stopped at the kobini to warm up haha, and checked out the japanese porno magazines! hahaha. It's hilarious, like there is the picture of some girls and then a "Zoom" section.. hahahah!

We ended up at a chinese restaurant, and got the drink vikking. LOl. So for 300 yen, about 4 dollars.. well not that much.. Anyways, there was unlimited soda, matcha lattes, coffee, tea.. etc! And we played this game where someone says a word, for example "neko" and the next person has to take the last sound, so "ko" and make a new word, like "kotatsu"! Its really good for building vocabulary.

Anyways, we stayed here drinking for about 3 hours or so! It was so nice to get to know her friends too! It was just a really good night all around. So its the 9th of January, school starts on the 13th! I'm uber pumped to start japanese school! And be a student again! They want me to take the Level 2 japanese test next december, so im going to have to study as hard as possible! And also, at the same time I have to look for a job. So between working, and studying everyday, this is gonna be hard. But lots of people have done it, and I'm going to pull it off.

Anyways, its so late, and I really should be getting some sleep. I have to wake up to see yuya around 2pm. Also, i have to get some study done, and I think im gonna make curry rice again for supper. Its so cheap, and soo tasty!

Anyways, oyasumi! :)

Here are some pictures!!!

24 hours..

2009-12-29T11:02:00.000-08:00

God! I'm pretty sure I am the worst at packing in life! It's like, I have a lot of stuff packed, but the majority of stuff I'm using on a daily basis, so it's like I wont put it in the suitcase because I'm not sure - Maybe I might need it.
After Packing for about 2 nights, here's what I have done:

Hahhah I am the worst at packing! LOL!

100th Post/ 3 days Until Tokyo

2009-12-27T00:04:00.000-08:00

Wow. This couldn't have been a better 100th post.

Last night was the best night I've had in 8 months since I've been back in Canada.

The family came over, as well as Ed & Val.

They've been family friends since I was born so they are considered family.

Lisa joined us and we got so drunk...

I felt like I connected with my family on so many levels.

I haven't had a time with them like this in so long.

I love my family.

It's this night that just proves how much I am loved.

I could have went without their support, but now I know I have so many people behind me, and so many people rooting for me.

I won't dissapoint them. I know what it's like to fail. I know what it's like to fall.

I will shine this time.

It's incredible how family can be so forgiving.

No matter what has happened in the past, they will always be there for us.

I don't take this moments for granted.

It was just magical, and this night was Christmas for me.

This night made my holidays.

Sharing time with Val was incredible too.

That woman is so wise. She's actually so many things,

and has the greatest outlook on life.

When she told me to be the person I want to be, it just moved me.

Everything about this night has just fueled me so much for Tokyo.

I won't be failing this time.

I will be unstoppable and I'll work so hard.

The only thing I missed was my sister.

We're fighting now, its kinda sad.

I'm leaving in 2 days basically and she's off with her friends, when , It would be nice if she would spend some time with me.

I don't know - but, If we both havent put effort into seeing each other, why are we throwing around the blame?

It's going to be too late when I'm at the airport.

I'm dissapointed.

Sigh.

3 days.

Merry Christmas/ Happy Birthday

2009-12-24T19:47:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!
OMG IM 21! WTF!

Anyways, I love this song, so i wanted to sing it!

I'm having such a great time with family!
Christmas just isn't christmas without family.

One week Until 日本！

2009-12-22T14:11:00.000-08:00

So as much as I want to.. I'm not going to drop of that card at this house.
I want to admit to him what I was feeling, but what's in the past.. is in the past.
And although this sounds 100% bitchy.. I won't be thinking about you in Japan.
And who am I? I'm not this needy person that is going to let one person influence my priorities.

Another Vlog! This one is actually quite short.. And since I'm not in Japan for another week, it's kind of hard to find things to talk about! I have a tongue piercing, that is still swollen, so it's still hard to talk! hahah! Anyways, I'm just talking a little about student visa's and shit like that!

Christmas is in like, 3 days!
Exciting! I don't know where the time went! hahah
This time next week I will done packing and ready to hop on a flight! hahaha
Yay!

Anyways,
See you then! :)

8 days

2009-12-21T19:34:00.000-08:00

Yellow Tongue.
Swollen Tongue.
Bleeding all over a towel and clotting tongue.
Sore tongue.
Tender tongue.

"Pierced Tongue"
never again.

10 Days- NEW Tohoshinki "BREAK OUT"

2009-12-20T16:18:00.000-08:00

Hey guys!

Check out Tohoshinki's new Song!
"Break Out"
They are really going for a korean sounding song.
Korea always pumps out the mad beats with an electronic feel.
Kpop is so addicting!

http://www.mediafire.com/?jg0nmzqyz0k

I love it!!!

Tohoshinki is simply amazing!

13 Days

2009-12-17T09:45:00.000-08:00

Wow.

Where has time Gone?

Today, I'm staying in bed all day I'm pretty sure.

This tongue piercing is actually killing! Hahha. Not really, but the swelling is really irritating, and If i don't take liquid advil every 4 hours, you can totally notice it.

I've been kinda freaking out about the risks involving shattering your teeth and chipping and things like that.

I'm gonna be extra careful while eating, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to replace the metal surgical steel one with a smaller, plastic one soon.

It will be harder to obtain a job in Japan with a huge metal ball on my tongue, so i need to get something that blends, or end up taking it out hahaha.

I'm also making plans for my going away party. I think I'm going to have it on the 19th, although its not set in stone. It's not going to be a big bash like my last one, maybe just some close friends getting their drink on, and not getting to rowdy haha. Since I've been back, I've really realized who are my true friends.

Also, Ive been kind of debating the fact if this is the right move for me, and If i should have just went to Toronto for University. i just don't know. But I'll have more figured out once i get back in Japan. I'll know after a couple months If im going to be prepping to enter University there or not. If i feel like I can, i will, or maybe even a training college? I don't know, because I haven't totally worked out the post-Secondary options there yet. And there are a lot of scholarships for language students, etc. I'm just really unsure. A lot of them required SAT tests too, so I would have to brush up on my horrible math skills. ahaha.

We will just see how it goes. There are always some other possibilties. Theres always toronto.

I dunno, I'm really set on staying in Japan though! i gotta work hard to get fluent!

We will see.

Keep reading my blog, its about to get really intense, and all about Japan.

I'll blog everday with pictures!

Kurisu

16 Days

2009-12-14T04:49:00.000-08:00

Hey Guys! What's up?

It's a little over two weeks until Tokyo.

That kind of just hit me.

Like smashed me in the face hahhaha.

Anyways, I was looking through my facebook today and noticed that one of my friends commented

on some dude's picture. And like, I knew he had "mensmix", which is basically a SNS for gay people

inside Japan. There's no way for you to get it without a keitai (Japanese cell phone), so don't try, its not

worth the effort.

Anyways, all the people I've previously hung out with in Japan we're after commenting on his photo's.

It was seriously like creepy. The people I had plans to hang out with, have hung out with... he had pictures

with all of them.

It gave me this weird feeling. Like Japan is not as big. And that all my friends who were single before were

just dishing out compliments to the new gaijin that come along, and that they wanted a relationship with a

gaijin so bad, that they would post random compliments to completely random people.

I don't know what Japan's obsession is with white people. Especially evident with the gay scene.

I don't even know how to describe it. Sometimes its just sick.

And don't tell me there isn't one, because I've lived in Japan, and I know what its like.

Its just kind of crazy. When i first went to にちょめ (Nichome, Japan's area of gay clubs), I really though that like wow, this is huge, and that like, its nothing like back home. But seeing how my Japanese friends just threw themselves out for this guy that isn't even remotely attractive, still astonishes me.

But i guess the same could be said about me.

I'm completely obsessed with asian people.

And I don't know what it is, but my friends will agree with me.

It's so much more rewarding and interesting to date someone from another culture.

Anyways,

Thats the thought of the day.

MV of the day:

And a couple more just for fun:

This one's pretty amazing. The beat is just Sick!
I love korean music too. This ones CL from 2NE1!
DOWNLOAD: http://www.mediafire.com/?hm2zk2nyimy

Yume no kutsu

Dream Shoes.
Who knew? hahahah
Mata ne,
Kurisu

19 Days

2009-12-11T13:50:00.001-08:00

Hey guys! Sorry about the lack of posts lately, I've just been really busy being NOT busy! Hahhaah! I potentially finish work the day after tommorow, and I'm so excited! Its only about 19 Days until Japan now. I'm excited to have some time off and spend it with the family. I don't want to leave here without spending time with my family. I owe them at least that. Thanks so much to them for driving me everywhere, coming up and picking me up late, you guys are awesome.

I've also been really down about the whole age thing. And wondering If i am making the right choice by going to language school, and then going to University after. I've decided that I AM making the right choice. I'm 20.. I want to do the things i want now. I don't want to wait until after I'm done school. When I'm older I'll be ready to settle down anyways. Now I wanna be me, I wanna follow dreams. University is never going away. And your never to old for it. Fuck like even if i did this for 2 years, I'd still only be 22 when entering University, and be done when I was 25. And, on top of that....

Doing language courses in University? Interesting of course, but to people who are serious about learning a language, what's better then immersing yourself in it. I'll be speaking Japanese everyday, I'll have a japanese boyfriend. I should be fluent in a couple years. It'll be great, and I'll study so hard..

I still don't know if what I'm doing is the right decision.. But how can we ever know? We just have to do what makes us happy. And this is what is going to make me happy. This could turn out to be amazing.. I could become fluent, get into school, get a job, be happy. Wherever this takes me, and whatever happens, there is NEVER an end.

So What has happened lately? not that much! I've been studying Japanese, I got my student visa! I was so happy! Thanks so much to Taku! :) I owe you hahahaha! :) Tommorow I'm gonna decorate the Christmas tree with my family. I can't wait! :) I'm so glad to be home this Christmas :)

Time makes older. Children get older. I'm getting older too.

So take the risks in your life now! There is no right or wrong.

And what are you so afraid of?

Those who have done best in life have never stood still, frozen by the fear to fail.

27 days

2009-12-02T23:48:00.000-08:00

So this totally was the worst day I've had in a long time.

1) I went to Mcdonalds to get 3 large coffees because we were studying late at the University.. I got like 2 blocks away, and I spilt them all over the seat and the floor. I was so rotted at this point. I had to go home and try to clean it, in this fucking winter hurricane... I was not at all Impressed.

2) Mcdonalds had no smore pies left. LOL!
The bitch burnt them, I was not impressed.

3) My hair was simply a state after the wind blowing everywhere.

4) This day just had like, little things that made it worse.
But hanging out with Sherry and vic was so much fun.

VLOG # 2 is coming tommorow I promise!

My student visa is supposed to be ready then!

Oyasumi!
Kurisu

28 Days!

2009-12-01T21:11:00.000-08:00

Hey!
How are you guys doing?
I'm gonna give a little update as to what's going on with me,
as I'm just gonna make a new Vlog anyways.

Actually they are lots of fun, and a cool way to record my thoughts and opinions,
and just to document the whole pre-japan and moving To Japan process.

I really started this whole blog and stuff just for my own personal use, So forgive me lately that it's been so uninteresting hahaa. But since Its been advertised on SWAP'S site, and another couple blogs, I can't wait to start blogging when I'm actually in Japan.

What do look for in my next VLOG:

- What to do when you left Japan without cancelling your phone contract
- What's going on with my Student Visa, etc.
- Work Drama, and quitting
- Christmas plans
- The 1st day in Japan... So much errands to run in about 8 hours. hahha

Anyways, I'm just gonna keep it simple and end it here.

I'm going to study Japanese with Sherry in the morning at the University!
Peace out!
Kurisu!

29

2009-11-27T23:53:00.000-08:00

Omg.
So totally have no idea what I'm going to do.

Here's the plan.
Leave for Japan, see how long I last.

If i can get into a Japanese University, thats fine.

If not, i come back and go to University of Toronto to do East Asian studies.

It sounds like a good plan.

Student loans should be less trivial.

Anyways.. 29 days.
Time's ticking.

Off for the next 3 days.
Plans with the family and my sister I say.
i miss her.

Oyasumi :)
Kurisu

30

2009-11-26T23:08:00.001-08:00

Omg! I just got so fucking nervous!
I was looking at the list of approved University's In Japan to go to.
There are just a couple that teach in english.

I mean, Yes I am going to Language school for almost 2 years.

Im just getting stressed because of things like:

Getting a job
Making rent
Selecting a school
Whether or not student loans will cover it

Etc etc etc.

It's just these next couple years are going to be crucial!
FUCK!
The pressure is gonna start soon!

I will have to apply for like 4 Universities next December, a year after starting to intensely study the japanese language.
I can still apply for Sophia though and take Japanese classes on the side.

I need to immerse myself.
Needs a boyfriend, needs regular life in Japan.
Needs to speak japanese itsudemo.

AAAAAAHHHHHHHH

List Of Possible Schools:

Sophia: http://www.sophia.ac.jp/E/E_admissions.nsf/Content/adm

Vlogging!

2009-11-25T17:26:00.001-08:00

Hey! So this is part 1/2!
Its one month Until Japan, so I'm going to start making some videos and documenting all of my time in Tokyo! :)
Kurisu

32

2009-11-25T02:53:00.000-08:00

If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?

1 month takes a whole lot more time to pass the 8.

Wow, It's crazy how you think you can trust people.
And they just turn out to thrive on attention from people.
It's time to live in the real world babe.

We might find a place in this world some day.
But at least for now,
I've gotta go my own way.
What about me? What am I supposed to do?
I gotta leave but I'll miss you.

34 days (Part 2/2)

2009-11-22T23:41:00.001-08:00

Today I went back to work after being away for about 3 days mourning my nan. I drove out to Centerville, which is my nan's hometown along with my family for the funeral. Her death was so sudden, I was just in a state of shock the last several days. Driving there was so spooky. Around the bay, these community's are really frozen in time. People living there are perfectly content with the old way of life. I guess we can't understand. Like, what do you do on the weekends there? Go to the store or something lol?

Being back there was such a flashback to our childhood. And it's like an era is over. Both my granparents from my dad's side have died. When i saw my nan at the wake, I just cried and cried. Both me and my sister stood against the wall for a little bit before we could even go over and see her. I think we didn't believe it. I mean she is our nan, I still think I can call her, or go see her.

It was so painful, and my Dad and his sisters were just a wreck. I can't believe that was the last time I will ever kiss my nan on the cheek. And I find myself missing the smallest things. Laugh if you want. I can remember like ordering food for us for supper instead of her having to cook, and I was like yeah! I bought supper. And then she was just like "This chicken is dry" lololol! God i love that woman. And being at the funeral, I just just realized how many people she impacted.

I wrote a note to my Nan. She was seriously the only person to believe in me from the start. Always with Japan, it was never a crazy idea, she just thought I could do it. When i leave 35 days from now, I will do great in Japan, and I will never give up, and I know she will be watching over me. I love you so much Nan.

I can remember watching the lid go down on the casket before it was wheeled into the church. I couldn't even stop from crying. At this point, my cousins were okay, but I wasn't ready for that. No one ever wants to see that happen. It was the last fucking moment I would ever see her face.

But i just have to remember her as the woman she was.

Some lady approached me at the lunch, and told me what my nan said.

That she didn't even care if my mom or dad we're home when she came to visit our house, but If i was there, it was okay cause I would take care of her. And I always said love you every night before we went to bed, and before I went out.

I regret not being able to spend more time with her, and to share my stories about Japan, and for her to watch me become the person i am now.

You never know when your time is up. And you never know when someone else's is. Heal those wounds with old friends, call them. Life is so short and we don't have time to be spending fighting. Just make up with everyone you can.

I just want you to know I will never forget you Nan.

We all love you and miss you so much. You've made an impact on so many lives.

And we all have so far to go and so much to learn before we can make the same impact to others.

Love you, Always and forever,

Chris

36 - Part 1/2

2009-11-20T20:19:00.000-08:00

So, I'm going to write two journals today, once dedicated to my nan, and the other to the Visa process! This is going to be really short!

Anyways, I got my Letter of Admission into my Japanese language school today, and also my certificate of eligibility! I feel like I should be documenting everything that happens, so here it is. The next step is to call the embassy tommorow, to figure out what I'm going to be writing on the visa form, what other documents I need to include, and about sending it to my friend in Montreal. Thanks so much Tak, i really appreciate it!

38

2009-11-19T00:23:00.001-08:00

You who dwell in the shelter of the Lord,
Who abide in His shadow for life,
Say to the Lord, "My Refuge,
My Rock in Whom I trust."

And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
The snare of the fowler will never capture you,
And famine will bring you no fear;
Under His Wings your refuge,
His faithfulness your shield.

And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
You need not fear the terror of the night,
Nor the arrow that flies by day,
Though thousands fall about you,
Near you it shall not come.

And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
For to His angels He's given a command,
To guard you in all of your ways,
Upon their hands they will bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.

And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.

Love you Nan.

39 Days - Nan <3

2009-11-18T20:08:00.000-08:00

Wow.
It just happened all of a sudden and it's still a shock.
I don't think any of it has time to set in, because I haven't been to Centerville yet for the funeral, or just to see where we haven't visited in so so long.

I can remember so many things from Centerville when I was young.
Although there is not much there hahaha.
But I remember how much fun it was to play bingo, the trips to Fair Island,
watching movies and just spending time with each other.

Do i have regrets? Yeah, Tons.
Since I got back from Japan, I haven't had time at all.
I didn't even call you that much. I haven't spoken to you in so long.

You were the only one that believe in me from the start.
Whenever I talked about Japan, you would never ignore it thinking the idea was too farfetched.
I want to call you again and thank you for everything.
I know I'll make you proud in Tokyo. And I know you'll be watching over me.

I will miss you so so much.
I love you so much.
Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear.
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near.

I'll never ever forget you.

These words are lame because I want to express how much I love you more then this.
I'm sorry I couldn't be with you.
Love you so so much nan.

42

2009-11-14T23:19:00.000-08:00

I thought I would feel really really hurt.
But actually, I'm not.
Sure it was a little bit, but I have moved on.
And 2 more weeks should do it.

I though i would never move on.
Seeing you again was a reminder of how things used to be.
But things change, people move on.

I need to learn not to be so reliant on people.
And you already know that.
You have so much control, so much life experience.

I really learned so much from you.
We will still be friends.

But we know that seeing each other know is only more difficult for us both.
And the 2 weeks you were gone, I never felt so healed.
I was busy, i was functional.

You came back, and we'll, its like going backwards in time.
Although that would be comforting, we are both moving on.

I'll never forget you.
You won't forget me.
We'll be good friends.

:)

46

2009-11-10T21:04:00.000-08:00

Hey! Sorry for not posting in a couple days!
I'm actually going to start re-vamping this blog to get ready to blog about my new life in Japan!
It's only 46 more days!

I got approved for school by the Tokyo Immigration a couple of days ago.
I'll be getting my visa sometime next week!

I'm in love with "Dance in the Dark" By GAGA!
Check it out! Her album is gonna be so great!
And I can't wait to dance to it in Nichome! It's gonna be so much fun!

I also checked out a video of some guys experience in language school.
Well, the first day.

There isn't a lot of insight into Japan, well there is, but not through my eyes.
There is a lot of things I'm going to blog about that I never knew about before I visited.
Japan is so much more then you read about and see pictures of.

You can't truly know Japan unless you've been there.
It's the people and the culture! So crazy!

Anyways, I'll be doing some re-vamping!

Night Bitches!
XOXOXOXOXO
46

48- I've been approved!

2009-11-08T22:39:00.001-08:00

The Day I've been waiting for!

I've been approved!

"Dear Chris-san,

This is good news that your student visa application has been approved by
the Tokyo immigration."

Its official.
I've been waiting for this day and hoping so long!

48 more days until Im in Japan! :)
School starts January 13th!

So excited!
Muah!
xo
Chris

49 Days

2009-11-08T01:44:00.000-08:00

Thats just fucking great.

My facebook acount has been de-activated.

I'm supposed to work in 4 hours.

My student visa result is tonight.

My phone bill is huge.

I'm tired.

I have way to much overtime.

SAFE TO SAY.
FML.

50 Days BITCH!

2009-11-06T23:19:00.000-08:00

OMG!
I am so fucking tired of working! Hahah!
And I officially have the flu.. Just cause i notice I had it as of yesterday ahaha!
I feel like crap, and I have to go to work tommorow... Till what time? i don't know!
It was my only day off, but I have to go in because i need the overtime.

I'm gonna get while I got ya in sight
I'm gonna get you if it takes all night.
I'm gonna get ya, it's a matter of fact.
I'm gonna get ya don't you worry about that.
Just like I should - I'll get ya goo.

I've already planned it,
Heres how its gonna be.
I'm gonna love you, and your gonna fall in love with me.

50.
GET ME OFF THIS FUCKING ISLAND.
GET ME OUT OF CANADA.
AWAY FROM ALL THESE PEOPLE.
AWAY FROM YOU.

52

2009-11-04T22:33:00.000-08:00

5TH- WORK
6TH - WORK
7TH - HOLIDAY (YASUMI)
8TH - WORK
9TH- STUDENT VISA RESULT....

JEEZE IM NERVOUS!

53

2009-11-03T20:23:00.001-08:00

To give up everything I had on something that just wouldn't last?

I refuse to cry.

No tears will fall from these eyes.

53 days / 8 weeks.

HAVE YOU EVER BOUGHT HIS LIES?

54 Days - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ONEGAI!

2009-11-02T22:13:00.001-08:00

Dear Chris-san,

Thank you for your e-mail.

The result will be known on November 9.

I will let you know as soon as I receive it.

Best Regards,

Hitoshi Watanabe

HJC

FUCK!
IM NERVOUS, YET EXCITED.
I WILL KNOW ONCE AND FOR ALL!!

55 Days - 8 Weeks left in Canada!

2009-11-01T20:17:00.000-08:00

I just got home from work!
Fuck! This has been such a long week! And it's fucking NOVEMBER NOW! Woot! November 2nd actually!
When I left my cash was like -23.00! I was like fuck! Because I had got written up before, but the manager called me to tell me that she found it hahaha.
I love the night crew at BK! And it's not really that bad of a job! I've gotten close with most of the night crew, and it makes working there so much easier, and you get so many more benefits when the management actually likes you hahaha.

Anyways, so, november 2nd!
Now that japan is 8 weeks away, its like... Still seems like a half long time!
I remember I used to say like "Once its september time will fly."
It's november and the more excited I get, the slower time goes! hahaha.

What else has happened?
Oh yeah, I missed halloween night to work late.
It sucks, I mean i could have had so much fun.
But thats not where my head should be. I saved money for Japan, and I should be set on Japan at this point.
No more spending. not even like to go out for BK or anything like that.

And I'm still waiting for my student result!
It's supposed to be between the 6th-9th!
Im gonna mail the school!

Anyways, I gotta sleep!!

O.H! P.S

Check out "First Train Home" by Imogen Heap!
this song is great! it reminds me of the morning after party night waiting to get the train back to my apartment!

58 Days

2009-10-29T20:23:00.000-07:00

I wrote this journal last night:

So I'm pretty sure I just had the most emotional hour of my life. This moment has been brewing and was bound to happen since I got back here. Since I've been back, i've been spending all of my time working, staying up all night, and sleeping during the day. I've basically only seen my family when I've been going to work, and when they pick me up from work. It's been full of empty conversations, frustration, and arguments.

They told me that I can't keep going on like this. It's so true. This habit I have to break.

I know I have an eating disorder. I have since I was 16 years old, and I'm fucking sick of it. I don't know why I have it, and I've never really made the effort to get rid of it. I've been comfortable with my body, my weight, its just been a lifestyle and a way of life.

Why couldn't I trust them? I don't know. I've been honest with my friends, I've had some pretty good ones. How would It be to just out and tell your parents your gay? I've done it. It wasn't pretty, and they sure as hell haven't been supportive. They don't acknowledge it, they just ignore it. I might as well not have someone. It's not like they could ever be proud of me, or accept that person. Maybe someday they will, But I need to become stronger In order to finally let them see that I'm really happy.

This whole situation that I've been stuck in since finishing high school has to end. If I can't do this in 2 months, then I can never do it. I have this chance. My school is sending my certificate Nov.6-9th.

Is it scary? Yes, I mean I'm always worrying, but at the same time part of me knows that this could turn out to be an experience that is gonna change my life for the better.

I need to start living in the moment.
Im going back to Japan but I need to start living here.
I wanna love my family. I want work to become a 2nd priority.
I want so many things.
I realize im wrong sometimes.
And you should to. We can't always make right decisions all the time.

Heres to it.
See you in 59 days Japan, but not right now.
I got caught up all there was to offer.
But the cost was so much more then I could bare.
I've messed up.
It's the bitter taste of losing everything I've held so dear.

Loves.
Chris

60 Days/ 2 months Until Japan!

2009-10-28T11:25:00.000-07:00

So today it's just 60 days until Japan.
I'm actually kind of preventing myself from getting to excited just yet.

I studied Japanese after work tonight and realized two things. I have become way to independent on romanji, since the books I'm reading have the romanji captions underneath the hiragana and kanji. But I am actually remembering a lot more Japanese, and it seems like every bit of study does pay off. I need to study some more song lyrics and diaries for vocab purposes though.

I'm pretty sure I will have a big advantage over the other students as I've been studying since i got back. Although I'm not great at Jpaanese, i am kind of familiar with the language now and working my way through it.

Work, Well its just work. I'm just there to pay off my credit card and leave. I don't care how shitty it is. It's a paycheque, and it will be my last time working in fast food.

I hate working with the public. news flash bitches...
You are not better then me, and I'm not going out of my way to please you.
You are all too fat to be eating fast food anyways. And fuck off complaining that something is made wrong and we are idiots.
Like please bitch.
Do you study Japanese? Are you a student? Or just a lazy hoe sitting at home collecting unemployment. Thought so.
Listen up hicks, there is so much to see in the world if you could just escape this sheltered shit hole.
And if you have to much pride to admit that this place is sheltered as hell, then you really shouldn't leave. Because Newfoundland is unique, its home, but its sure as hell not interesting and not worth wasting my time with.

So, two months.
13 days until my certificate result. I can't wait honestly.
Although I know its most likely a yes, I'm still nervous because Japan is everything to me, and I don't know what Id do without it.

Here's to hoping, and keeping the faith.
I'm so ready for this, and I'm ready to work so hard.
<3
Christopher

61 - 2 weeks until Visa Result

2009-10-26T22:17:00.001-07:00

Holy Fuck!
In 2 weeks I will learn about my student status! FUCKING GOD HURRY UP! LOL

62

2009-10-25T20:35:00.000-07:00

So what the fuck? Why am I back in a depressed mood?
I could not even concentrate at work.
I'm so glad that I have a day off tomorrow!

The only way i can only get myself through this is just to keep thinking of Japan.
When I go there, none of my life matters here!
Like all this drama, all this shit just fades away.

I guess he was a really good friend because he has motivation and things going on in his life.
Why does he like me? I'm not sure I guess.
But I want him to know that this is not the person I usually am.

In Japan, I Have goals and dreams, things to do all the time.
I never have this free time just to work.
So when I go to Japan, it's best that we just keep in minimal contact.

My day off is so going to be pigging out on junk food, movies and sad music with my new dr.dre headphones.
They are so amazing.
I can hear everything.
And noise cancelling is amazing. hahaa

Swine Flu.. Do you want the vaccination?

2009-10-22T10:35:00.000-07:00

Surveys suggest many of those eligible for vaccination will refuse because of concerns over the speed of the testing programme, or because they believe it's unnecessary because the risks posed by swine flu are low in healthy people.
They may also be discouraged by the fact that many health professionals are reluctant to be vaccinated according to a number of polls.
Chief Medical Officer Sir Liam Donaldson admitted the vaccines had been produced more quickly than usual, but denied they had been rushed. He said extensive pre-testing on a prototype had enabled manufacturers to go into rapid production once the H1N1 swine flu virus was substituted for the test virus.
Sir Liam and other Health Department advisers have consistently claimed the stimulating compound, or adjuvant, in Pandemrix poses no safety problems.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1222081/Dont-fear-swine-flu-jab-Health-chiefs-reassure-public-start-mass-vaccination.html

I completely agree.
Like, This was developed in such a short amount of time.
How do we know, that 10 years down the road, this doesn't increase the risk of cancer or something more deadly?

But at the same time, If swine flu comes back more lethal, should we be scared?

And in other news,
Lisa is designing a clothing collection!
Ain't the clothes hot?!
LOLOLOL!

Certificate Of Eligibility

2009-10-21T22:47:00.000-07:00

So apparently, My student status will be decided on between November 6th-9th.
When i get approved, i get sent the Certificate Of Eligibility.

What is this?
Basically like a green light.

I've already sent all my major forms,
So once i get this, I just send some more photos, and my passport, etc,
Along with this cerficate to the embassy of Japan.

It cuts down on wait times, and lets them know that you've already passed the requirements for the visa.

God! I wasn't really aware of this step, but yeah, after I get this, i sent it and apply for the actual student visa which shouldn't take that long.

Im counting down the days until i get this approval!

66

2009-10-21T21:12:00.000-07:00

2009/10/21 20:58 MISSISSAUGA International item arrived in Canada and will be reviewed by Customs

Omg! My clothes are in Canada! I'm really surprised!
It took so long to get them ready, and now It took only one day to get them from Hong Kong to Canada! :)
That means that like I should get them here in Newfoundland by Friday maybe! :)
I'm so excited! Hahahha

Although, it feels like I am wearing my work uniform more then my regular clothes these days hahah.
And what makes it worst, I think I'm going to have to pick up a second job asap.
I've done it before and it sucks so much, but I need to do what I can to make sure that Japan is going to be a success this time around!

Between November 6th-9th, my student visa result will be revealed.
My teacher said that I will get my student visa unless I commited a crime in japan, or overstayed my last visa. Hahah!
I haven't done either one of those things, so I should be fine hahah.

I'm Kinda excited for this date! Cause then I will get my certificate of eligibility, and then bring it to the Japanese embassy, or mail it in my case, and get my student visa in return! haha!
I can't wait to have it in my hands, I will be so excited! LOL

I've worked so hard since I've been back from Japan, and I can't wait to be back!
It's been a long time coming. But I will be back soon!
I know when I set foot on Japanese soil again, the whole 8 month wait will feel like nothing! hhahah

This girl I work with today told me I had really brown eyes...
LOL
And that my pupils are huge!
They are actually, so they are often mistaken for black eyes! hahahah

Omg! Why am I in such a damn good mood?!!!!!
Well one reason is that I have less to pay on my visa that I thought!!!!

I will have it paid off in like 1 more month! Can't wait!
1 month to pay it off, and the the rest is savings for japan!

I want a job as soon as i get in Japan! LOL
I have saved so much money here!
Always budgeting! So i want to be able to spend some money on going out and clothes every month!

Im so excited to be independent again!
Making lunches for the next day, doing cleaning myself, going on walks, paying bills, omg,
this is going to be so much fun!!

See u in 2 MONTHS JAPAN!!! :)

67

2009-10-20T21:08:00.000-07:00

Ugh!
I really want Dr.Dre headphones!
And I am fighting the urge to resist buying them!

I mean I just like, i need them.

They look so cool, and I am crazy obsessed with music.

And i need ones that noise cancel too.
hahaha

After I pay off my flight to Japan, I'm going to consider buying these headphones.

KA

2009-10-19T22:59:00.001-07:00

Before I met you, i was with someone else.
And now I just need to end that.
I don't know why I let it drag on this long.
I love you.

2 months, what can that change?

68 Days

2009-10-19T20:31:00.000-07:00

Wow. I'm so fucking tired.
Work tommorow 4-12.

A girl messaged me about Japanese working holidays!
It's really exciting to be able to share my perspective on them :)
Japan changed my life so much, and I'm sure that it is going to be a big change for everyone who takes part in a working holiday now.

Now seems like a way better time to go then last year.
Japanese knowledge is so important still though.

The economy is finally starting to come out of the recession!

Seriously, Don't ever be scared to try something new.

In 68 days I get to go back home.

I
CANT
WAIT!

!

Random Lyrics That feel good (69 days)

2009-10-19T16:57:00.000-07:00

Life is really up to you.
You must choose what to pursue.
Set your mind on what to find, and there's nothing you can't do.

Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly.

What the hell I don't have time.
Why you messing with my mind?
I can find another guy.
Someone who will treat me right.
I don't need this bullshit
I won't put up with it.
Any Longer.

Boy I sound so angry.
But I'm lonely.
I've been hurt so many times,
I don't have the patience.
But I wished for so long for someone to come and show me.
Im so tired of the game.
I wanna be somebody's boy. Would you show me the way?

He put him out.
Like the burning end of a midnight cigarette.
He broke his heart.
He'll spend his whole life trying to forget.
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he could never get drunk enough to get him off his mind.

Fuck you.
I'm scared of you, but at the same time I want to erase you from my life.
But your going to be the supporting factor in going to Japan.
I never dreamt I would write something that sounds so nasty and so healthy in my life.
On one side, I know that Japan is my dream.
But on the other side, I don't want to feel like I owe you.
I can make it alone regardless of what decision you choose to make.

I don't know if we can ever get back the relationship that we had.

70

2009-10-18T00:15:00.000-07:00

It started when I was 16.
Changed my life in ways I never though it could.
If you told me this would be my life now, 4 years ago, I would have no idea.

So many things have changed.
So many things are about to change.

I've been given the chance to try for something truly amazing.
And its going to be.
I can't wait.

70 days..
What is that?

It's two months! Like holy fuck, I've already waited 6 months, what is 2 more?

3 weeks from now, It will be november, and I can say "I'm going to Japan next month".

This was all worth it.

71 Days

2009-10-17T00:32:00.002-07:00

Yay!
I get paid in like one day! Hahah finally!
I need to put another payment on my credit card haha!!

My Yesstyle order is finally ready to ship!
So i will get it within a week or two or something.

Student visa result comes out November 7th or something!
Jeeze, I've been waiting so long! Now its like 3 weeks!!

Anyways, its way to late and i have to sleep!!

Oyasumi.
This journal entry sucked i know.
I'll write a better one tommorow hahaha.

72! You and I know

2009-10-15T20:15:00.000-07:00

Now what If i said that you wasn't fit to be with?
Now what if i told you this game we play, I picked it?
Now what If i said you, it's not true, so screw you?
You and I know, without me, there's no you...

So what about the things in your past babe?
What about the things in my future babe?
What about us?

What about us?
Us?
What?

What about?
LOL!!!!

74

2009-10-14T14:24:00.000-07:00

So I'm so tired of this crap from my parents.
But actually, maybe I went a little to far, but it's still annoying.
I got treated more maturely when I was 19, then now when im 20.

Seriously, like, I am just ready to move on.
Whether it be in Japan, which it will be, or elsewhere.
Im still leaving as planned.

Im just saying like, please hurry the fuck up.
This bullshit is taking its toll.
And I shouldn't have done what I did today.

Fuck.
And no, it's not what your thinking.

75 Days!

2009-10-12T21:03:00.000-07:00

So I've had a lot more time to think about this, and a while to come down.
My aunt came down here from Calgary, and She is actually the best.
I completely regret that I had to work so much. I was working late nights and waking up just before I had to go to work again.
Everything has changed.

As life changes, and we get older, we can't be as carefree.
We have commitments, and we kind of loose that carefree, not worrying attitude.
You grow up and you realize that you have so much to worry about, you have to work so hard at things.

I just think I'm generally selfish.
Although she probably understood that I had to do this for Japan and etc,
I can't get this time back.
I remember the fun we used to have when she came down.

Me and my sister love her so much.
She is even closer to me then my nan.
That woman is incredible. She's got so much wisdom, and so much to share.
And instead I spend so much time just working my ass off.

I want her to know that I love her so much.
So the fact that she returned to Calgary doesn't change anything.
We have to keep in touch, and i WILL call her from Japan all the time.

You have to realize that family is there for you no matter what.
And as much as sometimes people will piss you off, they are always your family, and no facts can change that.

And this bullshit about life being over at this age and so on, is so fucking stupid.
You can do whatever you want with your life at any age.

I don't want to be that person to say like "I've always had an interest in this, and never really followed it".
I'm going to go after what I want.
And although I've had to sacrifice so many things to get these things, I never wanted to sacrifice my time with her.
And i can never really get that back.

I have to go back to Studying.
I got this book and it's actually incredible for studying.
And I'm reading the lyrics of one of my favourite songs for study too.

75 days is not long away.
Its two months, and 2 weeks.
I've waited almost 6 months now.
hahaha

Time please fly by!

77

2009-10-10T22:56:00.000-07:00

I totally bought a new Japanese book!
And it looks like it's designed for dumbass's like me!
Hahhaha! I know I'm going to Japanese school in 2 months, but I want to get a headstart! LOL

And babe, know now that I am mentioning you.
I really wish distance wasn't such a factor.
Otherwise, I know that things would come together :(
Life sucks sometimes. But you give me hope that two people can really find something special!

Anyways,
Im not gonna write a super long one tonight.
Thats just two thoughts that are going through my head.

And its late.
Im paining from waxing.
LOL
But it looks hot.